National Board score release is a week away…
I remember this time being filled with anxiety and self-doubt, wondering how I would respond when I opened my score report. I had heard somewhere that scores would be released according to the eastern time zone. I didn’t even try going to bed before checking and checking and checking again. Nothing was posted. I sat alone at the kitchen table wondering what would happen once I clicked the link.
Unfortunately for me the link didn’t open until I arrived at school. I went to my room and sat at my computer, feeling very alone and vulnerable. I was scared, emotional and hopeful. I clicked the score report and I learned I did not achieve. Honestly, I felt a little relieved and a lot disappointed. I felt like I had let my colleagues and scholars down, I had failed them.
I knew I tried my best and I had grown as a teacher, but I wasn’t there, yet. I remember navigating through my teaching that day, realizing what I do every day is bigger and more important than any one report. My kindergarteners didn’t know how significant that day was for me, or how I will always remember each and every one of them. That day it didn’t matter if I was a board certified teacher or not, they needed their teacher. They needed me to set boundaries, ask questions, give hugs, wipe tears, teach reading, sing out of tune and be fully present in their lives.
When I got home I went straight to my NB box and pulled out entry two. As I reread it, I realized the weight of NB certification and the integrity of the process. My writing did not provide clear or consistent evidence of the NB standards, the impact of my teaching or of scholar learning. After reflecting, I realized how thankful I was that I did not achieve. Yes, I said that out loud and mean it. The quality of the work I submitted was less than adequate, giving me an opportunity to continue my process of accomplished teaching. This “set back” opened me up to deeper reflection on my practice and of scholar learning and growth. As I continued the process, I was able to clearly articulate the National Board standards in my practice and identify gaps and impact on scholar learning, question my colleagues and push on thinking in ways that showcased their strengths. I began to see myself as a teacher leader and step into leadership roles on my campus, advocating for my scholars, advocate for teaching and learning. I began to see scholar data in ways that informed my instruction and allowed me to reflect on my effectiveness as a teacher.
Since becoming board certified, I have stepped out of the classroom. I re-certified by borrowing a colleague’s class. This was daunting and amazing all at the same time. I lead a K-5 campus filled with teacher leaders who push themselves to be the very best every day. They see genius and potential in all of our scholars.
What will you do with when you become board certified?